Well, I ran out of thread last night while quilting the Joy in the Evening quilt, and none of the same was to be found at the local Jo-Ann or Walmart today. So here I am in front of the screen, because the next job on my task list was organizing some of the paper piles that are encroaching upon every available flat space in my office area.
Do you know what happens when your spouse retires? Paperwork. Among other things, for sure, but, oy, the papers. About the pension, about the Social Security, about the changes to the Social Security, about the retiree health insurance, about the COBRA benefits, about the 401K, about the company to which you may roll the 401K.
And then there are my notes about the papers and my notes about telephone conversations with representatives about the papers, and to-do lists scribbled on notes mixed in with the papers.
I'm going to need a snow shovel up in here if I don't handle the papers. But here I am, pecking out a post, not dealing with the papers. Hi!
This is "discrastination" in progress.
But about the thread I ran out of, I had a full spool of Coats and Clark multicolor machine quilting thread that seemed perfect for the Joy quilt. Who knows how old it was, but I wanted to use it up. I don't use a lot of CC thread for quilting anymore, preferring other brands instead. So use it up, I figured.
And I did. It got me exactly halfway through the quilt.
Fine. I'll go to the store and buy more of the thread I don't use much anymore. This spool was 275 yards (a regular sewing spool size), and one more ought to do the trick.
But what's this? They don't carry that same 50#, multicolor, 275-yard spool of mercerized (what does that even mean?), 100% Egyptian cotton, machine quilting thread anymore?
Fine. I'll go online and find it. Okay, found it, but what's this? It's only available in 1,250 yards?
Fine. I'll buy 1,250 yards more of the thread I don't use much anymore. Just so I can finish the remaining half of this project and then have 1,000 yards left to...not use much anymore...some more.
Ever see that Subaru car commercial where the kid is driving his dad's car? (See it HERE) And it's one thing after another and he's stuck in traffic and says, "Move it...killin' me..."
I feel your frustration, little buddy.
* * * * *
Moving on, and talking turkey, I just had to check the skin grafts on my breast. Let me explain.
I am cooking a turkey breast. The kind that comes without wings and drumsticks for those who dislike eating said appendages. Which makes them kind of tricky to prop up in the roaster, but I digress.
So this particular turkey breast was missing a significant amount of skin on its—what is it called, a belly? The part at the bottom of the breast right above the hole where all the innards were yanked out.
Mm, that was appetizing. Hungry?
Anyway, there was no skin over a very meaty part of the turkey, and I was afraid roasting it without anything to cover the meat would make it dry out.
Now I've heard of people putting bacon on a turkey breast and that's what I reached for, but all the bacon we had was frozen. And I had to get this bird started cooking, so what to do?
Well, you know all that loose skin they leave at the neck hole for no apparent reason other than to hide the bag of innards—what are those called, giblets? You know, the heart, gizzard, spleen or what-have-you that you're supposed to maybe cook or, if you're like me, throw away?
(Aside: Do you think you get the actual innards that were in the bird you buy? Or is there an innard sorting line at the plant for livers and such, and then another job is to pick out one heart, one liver, one spleen and bag it up. Like the Brach's Pick-A-Mix candy stand of innards?)
Lookie there! Candy! Not innards! Because if you have read this far, you need a palate cleanser. Have a butterscotch disk, won't you?
Anyway, skin graft: I cut that loose neck skin off and placed it over the breast where the meat was exposed. The end.
Not really, because it's still in the oven. And I just basted said turkey breast, and half of the graft shriveled up and fell off. Ah well, it seemed like a great idea at the time.
Good thing there's aluminum foil.
* * * * *
I've taken some non-quilty pictures the past week or two, which I have yet to share here until now.
A hawk swooped past the kitchen window and then perched in a tree off the deck. I grabbed my camera and sat taking pictures of him through the sliding door.
He could see me as well as I could see him. I think we shared a moment.
It was a juvenile red-tailed hawk. I am happy to see him in the neighborhood, where the squirrels and rabbits are plentiful, and moles and voles too.
It's a smorgasbord! Knock yourself out, little hawk!
And we had some snow last week, which should not be news for the Upper Midwest, but it's been a mild winter so far.
The snow was the kind wet enough and with the right wind behind it to stick to the trees, making them looked flocked. It was really pretty.
We're looking at a winter storm in a day or two, but predicted snowfall amounts vary. It was maybe 16 inches, then changed to maybe half that—or it could be rain. We will see!
Well, the turkey smells like it's done, and the papers are still here to be sorted. Time to go!
Such an amusing post, my husband keeps asking what I am laughing about. As for the thread thing, that sounds like my luck -- to end up with more than you started with just because you were trying to use it up! When I roast a turkey breast the way I keep it from tipping over is to stick one long metal skewer in each side, positioned so they rest on the top of the roasting pan. I've never done a skin graft though!
ReplyDeleteThis must be the funniest post I've read in a looong time - thanks for putting a smile on my face and another wrinkle to add to my others :) ....and I loved the photo's/video
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I finished reading, and all I can think about now is candy!
ReplyDeleteYour posts always crack me up! I think you'll just have to make a quilt specifically to use up the extra 1000 yards of thread you don't use very often!! Good luck digging out of that paper avalanche - no discrastinating, now!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the perfect start to my Monday! I'll think about you as I discrastinate today...or in my case, procaffeinate.
ReplyDeleteLOVE finding posts like this one --- thank you!! (and I am totally with you on the paperwork nonsense)
ReplyDeleteFlocked trees - what a great description Paulette.
ReplyDeleteYour mind puts together the funniest things. LOL - Thank goodness for the palette cleanser.
Think the hawk smelled the turkey?