Pumped Up Kicks

I know these are not what was meant by Foster the People in the song, but it makes for a good enough title, no?

Kosmic Platform Pumps at Payless

I tried a pair of these babies on this evening, just because...because they were there, in my hard-to-find size 12, and what the heck, it's my birthday.  Plus who doesn't love a pair of red shoes?

Also, I wanted to see what the world looked like when you're 6'8".  Because that's how tall I am in these shoes.  

No, I am not making that up.

So I did not buy them, because who wants to duck for doorways, but it was fun.  I felt like I was on stilts.  I had to hold onto my husband's shoulders to walk to the mirror.  You know what though?  Heels do wonders for your legs, even if you tend toward cankles.  They were fairly comfortable too.

I am going back to get these boots though.  I probably need a pair of skinny jeans to make them work, which is always a hassle to find because, well, see above.  

Rory Slouch Boot at Payless

But it occurs to me that they don't have to be exactly long enough inside boots because who will know, right?  Right.

One has to think creatively when it comes to clothing conundrums.  Speaking of which, here's a funny twist on sizes.  I could not find a pair of capris to fit me in the stores (too short), so while I was at Goodwill, I thought I'd try on regular pants and then maybe alter them to capris.  

Surprisingly, what fit the best in the waist and hips was a pair of Old Navy petite slacks!  Go figure.  So I cut off a few inches and re-hemmed them to capri length (about a 26-1/2 inch inseam for me), and they fit like a dream.  I have another pair of brand new Lands End pants that I will do the same with.  They were also $3.99 at Goodwill.  Can't beat that!

That is all.  I am going to have a freshly baked gluten-free, dairy-free brownie and go proofread for a few hours.  Partay!!  :)

You Drive Us Wild, We'll Drive You Crazy

I had my first belly laugh of the day at about 10:00 p.m. tonight. Over a pair of shoes.

Now, I am all about the sensible shoes. Low heel, good fit, supportive. Pretty boring, but I value the comfort of my knee joints and tootsies over style. If I can find something remotely attractive within the above parameters, it's a bonus. Oh, and they've got to come in a size 12. Wide.

So I was surprised that a search at endless.com for (hopefully cute, spring-y) wedges in my size turned up 15 pages. I clicked from page to page, eliminating many on heel height alone, when along about the fourth page in were these bad boys:

Are they not ridiculous?

Are they not...kind of awesome? You know, like if I were 19 again and a foot shorter? With jet black hair and heavy makeup and leather?

Rock And Roll All Nite (Album ...

Just when I thought I'd seen the crazy, I came to page 13 and these:

Hello? Herman Munster called and wants his shit-kickers back.

The people at endless.com apparently have a sense of humor. The description for these advises that you "get punchy in your best Goth garb, or hop on along to the monster truck rally in this outrageously high-fashion leather lace-up."

The question is whether I would clear the doorway first.

The further I searched, the more laughable the shoes became. Ralph Lauren designed this one, which he calls the Jenaya sandal.

I call it "Pocahontas Makes a Porno."

Here is "Luke Skywalker Meets The Dude for White Russians."

How about "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Under the Lawnmower Blade."

As you might guess, my shopping cart remained empty, but my mood was definitely lighter after this. Retail therapy, indeed.

While this is a far cry from a sewing-related post, it is a reminder that you never know where you might find inspiration. And if it makes you laugh, bonus!